i really rather wouldn't

a guilt to deal with
&
quite well i do.
with
or without
a proper
full,
non selective agonist.

it's this void "inside"
where,
supposedly
self is residing,
that's sucking in the rest.

hole like a fucking unattended grave.

a hermit,
i am used to
&
abused by
(non)human condition.
&
a hermits reward
is a more literal hole.
revelations
&
burning bushes.
not nearly good enough.
not nearly.