L.D. 50

mg

to

kg
ratio,

add a bit
for all the catching up.

happy new year.

you learn all your life & die a fool

I've made 34 
the other day

feel like 68
in the morning.

sadly mr. greenway,
the symptoms have persisted.

there's pain observed & than there's a pain endured

the difference is a whole world
that stands between us
&
it's absolute.


it's not your stomach 
that is empty
or plowed by shrapnel,

raked by fake empathy.

organized religion pisses me off

a list of symptoms
exclamated by metaphysics,
is not a diagnose.


it's a list of symptoms
exclamated by metaphysics.

i am wearing my fears just fine.

the ease with which they dispense humiliation is caustic

fail proof,
fail proof & simple diagnostic method;

hitchhiking reveals the appalling consistency
of subjects reactions.

        with these people
        it's not mentality,
        it's morbidity.

so. sad.

taking a statistical approach,
presumptions & misleading
as it so often is;
in this matter cements my conviction just
nicely.
        just a fraction under 94% cunts.

so.sad.

around 80% of sample total
being cross worshipers,
the amount of hypocrisy makes me wanna procure a
Tokarev,
&
blast their fucking vehicles as they pass me by,
acting dumb, deaf & blind.

         just a fraction under 94% cunts.

my people.

derailed or " will fails you- fuck you", limp on

nothing like a day of
 a honest work
to turn you into a pile of shit.
      "remember,
       nothing of this makes any sense
       unless repeated infinitely."

i can't digest their pachydermal
   bullshit.

20 mg
of benzos,
& pass out 'till tomorrow.





       repeat.

surrender

the sound of my
blood
of my lungs
cloths moving
downstream
downstream
hart beat
alone at night.

i can't remember any of my dreams, but they surely must be of heroin

340 days of stumbling,
       
       stuttering

& falling into salvation,
for the lack of a better
idea.
  

the futility of this exercise
is slowly mowing from bitter
       to humorous.

insomnia or war of attrition

          6 A.M
          - 8 degrees Celsius.

          " it's not schizophrenia,
             it is just consciousness"

short lived relief.

politics or a semantic fuckup of civilisational proportions

if there is wisdom
in accepting defeat,
i can't find it.

like most other criteria
it seams largely circumstantial
& arbitrary.

          his supremely sculpted hair
          & manicured fingernails
          curse in language
          neither of us understands;
        he'll use it anyway.

...& i could reply in elegant,
mathematical formulas
of internal, external & terminal ballistics;
          if i wasn't caught in mid step
          between everything until now
          &  tomorrow.
always arriving at the same solution.

the inevitability
necessity
of evolution.

saint of cyanosis, pupile constriction & respiratory depression

prison routine
2+ hours of sleep

no dreams.

     I've named my apnea 
            Vasili,
and I'm waiting for it
to live up to the name.

one novel a day.
500 pages of distraction.

cataract or i piss on your reason

gods in progress
&
marginally aware.

mankind is pathologically scared.

walls, batons, hounds,
judgement, currency & corruption.

everyone doing their job.