i am repared for every fucking thing, life included

_




pseudonarcosis

hypnagogic states

staring at your absence

completely unaware

... that i am chewing

through my cheeks.



copper and rust

and a hint of bitterness,

so... .... ....... ...

Something to it

i can not quite grasp,

a dream like quality;

the kind that leaves

with the loss as massive

as a dead

sun.



wake with Empty

Red palms

life level with

ashtray;

juuuust out of reach.



Luckily,

i can cum this blood a great deal

further

than i can reach.

we're covered.

cotton fever

_





insufficient and

inappropriate measures.

Desperate measures.

than, why not just quit the fucking

game?

i'd like to.

Every New fix sprays the

stench.

Desperate measures.

Just forget.

i would like to.

but can't.

it Simmers

than Boils.

Simmers

Boils

Tie up.

Here we go.

Desperate measures.

as Desperate do.

metastasis

_



days stringed on a single line of reassurance.

maybe tomorrow.

the thing is...

it isn't working.

i still miss you the same.

this is how it was; first breathless, than all spectral and grey

_




watching myself in this dirty spoon makes me wanna skin myself and
roll in the lye.



steering this aging corpse around

like i belong inside

me and my meat are not getting along,



not at all.



Singularity

RLS and insect agony.



plunger back aaaand

...

Register.

..

Shall we proceed, Master?

.

Push that sterility in, Dzerzhinsky

All of it.



Joy to the fucking world

for i am done.

ad hope when necessary

_






i come from the land of swollen identity

false yet palpable causes for misery

i come from the wars of abiding stupidity

the sacred Uroboric massacre

i come from a failed marriage and torn family

squalor and poisoned meals

i come from the ravages of dreams

not broken, but worse ...disillusioned



this is the poison path

"the place of dead roads"



and still i can see beauty in everything

on occasional sunny day

i am my fathers son

_




the door knob is an old familiar shape

anticipation in hand

pull hard to unlock

the dark inside smells of home

of me.



silhouette against the tv screen

"hello son" is an old familiar sound

uncertain hand shake

silence that weighs 13 years

at least.

the how and why to the failure of the generation of poorly lighted crossroads

_



it's all downhill from now,

said Jesus

and fixed up.



that was before he realized

that he didn't die

at 27.

gratitude is hard..

...




the total mass of mutual guilt

has pushed our lives into something

new.

it feels like gravity.

it feels too bad to be True,

accelerating into nothing.



What are the Chances?



What are the Chances of passing someone

close enough to Orbit again?

i all ready know the message.

i knew the answer, before you knew there was a question.



and Still it will hurt.

Leaving bit by bit,

and never really believing.

in vain

.


Mainlining Rust.

i go to bed with 3 razors underneath my tongue
precipitate dreams,

Sweet Dreams.

stale moist bed sheets

formal absence of all precious things

Broken Bone Moment.

Dead flies Braille

reading Vacuum off crusted mouldy plates...
Passing Time.

where have you been?

warm living flesh, a hand upon my cheek

it falls right through me...

Words Disintegrating into Sounds.

Broken Bone Moment Again.

strength required for solace fades among all these
Dead Things.

You are My phantom limb

You are My phantom limb

a formal absence of all precious things.

DISTILLERY





charred girders

frame bright blue

ghosts in this place

even in mid day

that's rare...



deceased cattle

rusted out feeders

waist deep weed.



Smells of wet

sick

cows

and running asphalt.



long since discontinued

antibiotics

piles

piles

and piles

of empty ampoules

test tubes

inseminators

broken glass syringes

all housing

ticks.

encephalitis.

rotting black hay.



crumbled concrete

puddles

mosquito larvae

in

abundance.



I leave with concise

defined

despair.



waist deep weed.

impotent decorticated

bulls.

stand by ticks.

encephalitis.

CONSISTENT FAILURE IN INFILTRATING OTHER REALITIES BY MEANS OTHER THAN IMAGINATION







Tectonic shift in Perspective

Ugly fucking Human.



fear in Motion

staircase creaks; voices float in like Bodies

on slow water.

Ugly Human.



tectonic shift in perspective.

tomorrow - a landslide

madness despair and





suicide.





MS

ER Relief.

buying stealing borrowing time

shivers white knuckle grip

Holding Breath



Ugly Fucking Human.