& all that in just under four months

I
miss the joy
that
simple
stupid violence
brought

I
miss the
fight or flight
response
that i readily
understood as
&
believed
to be love

I
miss
the sheer
beauty
&
reward
of her face
blossoming into
smile.

I
miss
the buprenorphine
to
cold water
hack.

&
insomnia.
insomnia's important.
I'm loosing whatever's left of my
fucking
mind.