everyhthing pisses me off or enjoy the law of big numbers as long as it applies, you're irrelevant& your cuntishness is nothing special

turns out I can not stand
anything.
really.
 not a god damn thing.

 if there was any gravity to
my existance
i would probbably  qualify as an 
human abortion.


nothing.
  not even a memory in 
the minds 
once important 
persons.
doesn't get a lot cleaner than that.

8×57mm 9×39mm 7×64mm 12.7 ×108mm

a new tattoo is in  order.
C.I.P. diagram of
an array of cartridges.

but personal favorite

12.7 ×108mm dshk.
beauty is there if you can see.

or 7×57mm.

no.
 12.7 ×108mm dshk
like this
 

only if absolutely necessary, and even than.... no

we talked the other day&
it was pretty miserable.

all i have to say to you
precipitates into a single
word.
& futile.

 on the other side of the table
halfassed consolations (& what an ass it was, if memory serves me),
& a bit of rage.
understandable,
apparently, i am rude.
well, a human failure, insomniac, rotten teeth and  a small cock.
sure, rude.

blood doesn't gush, so it's irrelevant kind of rude.
can't hurt you, except in nightmares.
right.
you give me fucking nightmares.
once a week, or so
( thank you zopiclone)
we're either fucking or making love.

i recall one time ( thank you zopiclone)
dreaming my mother during the seizure
that killed her.
twitching, unconsciousness, soaked through with piss, inarticulate sounds
&
vomit everywhere.
vomit all over her.

there.

now,
this sexual nightmare is worse.
grown into my disappointment, there will be no goodbyes.
500 g of trotil.
so, fuck surrealism, this is acute & very real.

to the point of not being able to masturbate,
as your fucking face, breast& ass
is haunting.

summary

petty monster.

quite.
 all ties severed.


    tough shit.

" a mess of disintegrating cells.
sewn together by a chemical thread,"

dwelling . dwelling.

and stockpiling,  .

stockpiling.

i am accutely aware of my realtionships reaching affective zero

Momentum is a bitch.

this Cripple Ballet is wearing me down;

at this level of saturation

__________ every dream

__________ or memory

leaves zinc in my

mouth.

"a Different set of Emotions Now"

You said it.

fun

.22
5.5 mm
2cond generation military scope.
a live target.
and a  50 mg of methadone.
a proper fuckin holiday.

" a blade is a blade only when it cuts" or figuring out the necessary fundamentals like velocity, mass, angles & so on...

country side
& not of Swiss type.

 find a dead pig
not overly decomposed
if possible.

around dumps&  land fills.

nearby tree, rope& no one within visual.

      it really  is analogous.
doesn't strike back
or evade,
but, provides experience.
priceless experience.
 

a dull blade is a failure in tool maintenence

motion is beauty
elegance& momentum.
  takes right through to the
             bone.
scrape the bone.

war is an utterly disgusting fundamental aspect of humanity, yet it piles up cash. bodies as well, but that is irrerlevant

yes, arm the homeless.
soon they'll have wares on their hands anyways.
dogs bite too much&
a pressure cooker is sooner or later going to do what it should.

than some brass balled decision makers
will do the only thing they know- rain fire & stupid bombs
& do their best to scare everyone into believing their bullshit.
   free markets demand a constant flow of blood, malnutrition & ignorance.
   it's a decent god.
so we'll have 16 stars generals, fucking drafted whores into wrong holes,
blade made by the look of coagulation around, as savers of civilization as we know it.

&all this horror is a good thing
as it ain't stopping until the chaos rides out.
than players that give us our little narratives 
and fill the history books 
give years of material for shitty history channel type
     "documentaries".
about strategy
tactics.
like, that is what birthed this outcome respected viewer.
the kind of human shit
that can not communicate outside misinformation, distortion, half truths, misquotation, out of context& plain outright fucking lying.
just suits selling their bluff,
i so wanna see it called.
I'm dead anyway, so i really want to see it.
plenty of wares left around,
aks of all kinds
dragunovs& 76s
rpgs 7 to 32
all cheap shit& does the job. 
grozas, vikhrs, vintorez, kords,kpv for 14,5 by 114 fucking mm.
all to fucking smithereens.
than start over again