the problem didn't solve itself by simply dying

today's k.o.?
not much left.
alprazolam, shitty diazepam
what looks like bromaz.

that won't suffice.

there is a scene in sin city
( even in film)
when Marv contemplates
the experience of goddess.
Marv's on psychoactives too.

but, i ain't contemplating.
nor do i know any goddesses.
all I'm doing, is waiting too fall unconscious.

whatever happens after,
   since I've run  out of
   zopiclone& its peculiar side effects,
I hope i won't remember.

a decent title would be "i can not ever love another cunt" ; too bad it is taken all ready

apotheosis.
fuck, that took forever to remember.
apotheosis.

a fine greek word.
brilliant.
your slit is apotheosis.
your beautiful slit.

squalor or wanna share?

Humongous bath tub
Humongous water heater
That thing that acts as a table\plate
fix it on the tubsides
for all the books,sharp liquor, coffee, cigarettes, rigs, food, ashtrayz.....

bath salts, bath oils& all other
unnecessary foaming bullshit.

ambient temperature around 27 degrees Celsius.
Towels as thick as my dick hair.

Clean, proper sized underwear.
Clean, scented bed sheets


             Soft mattress.

another body

in the frame.

is  more than my

structural integrity

dares.
i know you too well anyway.

so crank up that German apnea.
  
 warm running water alone

               is
 improbable. 
  

SHITTY, GREASY BARS or A DEATH WHISH, PROSPECT OF PHYSICAL DAMAGE & WHAT THE FUCK

what is with all this blood?
is it all mine,
fuck,
not  likely.

           check  functionality.

            yes.

            thank you, Richard.
functionality first.

     can not be all mine
too much of it.

opened face leaks a lot,
but, it is neither long, nor deep.
      so, who&where is the other donor ?



pigs insist.
god damn
too much klonazepam
over ethyl.

colloquial known as a " eraser head",

great name, that is exactly what 
                  it does.
whoever is it jacking this time
    Fuck Him.
it s a mutual understanding.




              

300 m|s , double the weight still 270 proper

            standard 5.5. slug
          comes out the factory a gram heavy.

            add a bit molten lead
 &,
we're more /less at 2 grams...

that is enough joules
for most purposes.

               i checked. 

meat or fuck you super ego, and than fuck you some more

the other night
we were fucking like animals.
death row kind of sex.

of course, that was all a dream.

had to end
with a stupid face
with a stupig grin.

stupid grin
&lingering taste of your cunt
      &
stomach hair all messed up.
 i make a surrendering sigh.

a stupid face.

thank you for technology, big brain

klonazepam
diazepam
alprazolam
flunitrazepam
lorazepam
bromazepam
midazolam
nitrazepam
chlordiazepoxide
quazepam
triazolam
zolpidem
zopiclone
& so on.
reasons, reasons, controlled subs....
whatfuckinever.
 i just need to sleep.

chlorpromazine.

takes so fucking long or read the fine print. twice

     circles.

one poison to the another.

this sleeve still reacts

to the pheromone presence

 in unwelcome ways.

     circles.

so break the pattern for a second

to lower our defenses.

one poison to the another.

i am so bored of myself, 

of this sleeve,

&  your halfassed insinuations.

 it is beyond me.

my control 

moving towards

sharp edges.

metallic, stinging taste on my

tongue.

     circles.

my doctor says i should see a doctor

flooding&
landslides&
frosted mud
annual prospect of misery
 ditch full of frozen Syrians

 ditch id
 join Syrians

to run away.
to whatever.
away from winter at home.

backing off from sharp edged
desires,
somehow,
i resolve in uncommitted empathy.

thin.
stretched out very
thin.