deteriorate? nothing to it; like riding a bike.

 more&more&
         all
on its own
getting increasingly
relaxed
with the notion of dying
&
with dying itself.
interesting as it is
it is not helping
at all.

will is a stupid
      stupid thing.
stupid&stubborn&unseeing.
never survives the contact
with reality;

even when it holds up,
the laughter i hear is the sound
of something else breaking.
most likely
another portion of my

sanity.

laughter i hear
&
the tearing i feel.

absorb  klonazepam
collapse into sleep
dream of fucking
&
shooting;
what little love
i
got
&
gave;
respectively.
all the strain my resistance ever
secretly yearned.
laughter rises in pitch;
what has snapped this time,
i do not bother to inspect.