suicide's my kin

mental health goes
only so far

until it
rolls back.

sane reason cuts both ways

& i've put fine

edges

       on that blade.

civilisational peak

the stink permiates
along every coordinate.

erectile disfunction is hillarious

anaerobic mode
breathing phosphorus
ruber smoke,
a reall quality show.

suffocating fent calm,
stalls on contact
inoculates the sounds.

      that's better.

pry out the vagus nerve
soak in organochlorides,
that should stint the fallacy
of getting what's deserved.

    a pinch
of Parkinsons.

the clown sttuters and drools
a toluene seer
teratogenic joke.

   laughing my fucking kidney stones off.

fuck history with no place for Makhno

strictly speaking,
it is not impossible,
that
somewhere
some student
is doing an esay
on dead dear Nestor.

he will forget all about it,
as soon as he
grabs the life by the scrotum,
or vice versa
mutatis mutandis.

just as all you oxygenwasters did.

entropy

dust specks
borring through the skin
what a shitty design.
malfunction has outlasted it's usefulness.

tuesday holliday

.80 gauge
a fine caliber,
as long as it's fresh.

artificial colors,
aromas
& presevants,
it's all good.

or so I'm told.
amazing,
considering the death
toll.

never the less,
it's been a while,
& it's happy to see me.
knocks the breath out of my
lungs,
shuts the lights in my eyes
fuck,
you're beautiful.

nostalgia

first time for everything.
including blood poisoning.

this fucking fixation is getting tiresome

I liked it better with no dreams
whatsoever.

irritating
little
pieces
of
rot.

20 cc rigs
&
going for the femoral.
full frontal nudity
completely asexual.
        " what's it like
          sifting an artery?

          you'll know when
          you hit it."

pH short of 3
but, ain't gonna waste,
better waste
a pipeline.
        " went burning red
           from wrist to shoulder
           & stung like fuck.
           but it's ok now."

tools blunted out
ragged edges to the
delicate tissues.
200 grit'll fix it.
        " it's moving about
          but it doesn't hurt
          unless i touch it.
          you think it's a cloth?"

a long day with no past or future
&; hardly any present.
inside-out
the ghosts don't age.

the red blooms

vascular system in vacuum
rats in marrow,

frenzy,

the mirage is aroused
amused
the red light won't show.

butcher probes the meat
hand still
& purposeful,
calous.

a pig merchants touch.

the ironic metaphor
of a collapsed vein
&
absces.
the marrow.
gangrene
butterflies in gut
red.
rush.
beautiful.
in fractal motion.

the mirage laughs
& 
so do I.
the contempt is mutual.

like glycerine, really0deacetylation of 3rd position yields0falling slow0deacetylation0the mind recoils0deacetylation of 3rd position0the horrors0yields0the mind recoils0yields0so slow0yields0 like glycerine03rd position0the horrors0yields

spent
discarded
or
pushed in a corner

centrifuge

the silt

statistically average base
average statistical misgivings

the silt
has a mind of its own

all blunt
kinetic packed
blind

the horrors i've seen
and forgotten

hepatic metabolism close to normal

ah......


terrorism....


my inner child
never got over the fact
that R.A.F. was before
   
      its time.



refuge for the Broken
             &
         
  Maladjusted
 
Saints.


the third Newtons law
cheers me up a bit.

the future will be
Interesting. 

evolution finds its way

after 30+ years
I can say with content
that i have

       nothing
but my flesh&
       sinews.

a certain content.

all that I have learned-
 ambiguous at best.

though, one thing i realized,
and comprehension cuts deeper
than knowledge:
     I am going to Die.
          Cease.

Comforting.
       no more petty fears
       no more petty ambitions

Aspirations.

only Tao.
one foot in front of the
other.

and than it's over.

hello

    nobody knows me
and I'm fine with that.

name number
birthday

type 0 negative
ulcer
repressed memories

something wrong with
prostate.

skinpaint
failure.

  nobody knows me
and I'm fine with that.

addict
addictive personality
lactose intolerant

emotionally crippled

something wrong with
spine
wasted talent
failure.
   nobody knows me
I can't remember the last time
I cared.

the fallen or fuck you&everything you stand for

a Single molecular thread connected me

with life
     &
all was bare.

Single lie against the
     Myriad.

all was exterior
    &
tangible.

the poison path tolerates no bullshit
but the price is high.

cold hungry sick
i can't help
but laugh
    &
laugh.

I am my fathers son part 3

these days
my preoccupation is:

am I going to die before my father,
or vice versa?

the polite thing to do
would be
to wait for him.

there is something hopelessly romantic about social revolution pt.2

        Pigs.


gimme a sword&scales.

I'll sort 'em out.

make it Personal.
           
            Personal.

my consciousness
will take it.

I'll make it Personal
all the way across the Neck.

on the second thought,
ditch the scales.

a sword will do.

make it Personal.

sort 'em out.

cancer thrives everywhere, you just have to look for it

the City is Swelling
and Fuming.

occasional loud fart
marks the demise of one
or more of its cells.

         this is not just a half assed
                 metaphor.

it reeks of carcass.

Walks  Talks
Buzzes with Biz
           Decomposing.

and,
        It Metastases.
spreads.

Conurbating   Polluting  Assimilating
        Functioning.

happy as maggots and bacteria,
we live death inside our
         skulls.

         Oblivious.
         Inoperable.

not many threads left in this rope

My body is an Alien form.

screaming from too many
            places,
 
I can't smother them all.

gimme an epidural to the
        brain stem,

gimme a lidocaine
         bath.
the Resolve is wearing thin.

Anger is getting
        
Sour.

DIRECT ACTION

the handle vibrates
in high frequency
 
              the EYEs are
              half her face

tip buried half an inch
firm in the wood

             mouth the other half
             I can see her rotten molars.

That's right ma'am.
Fill up
            I don't want to redecorate you.

running out of ways to run

base to salt
...citric

aqueous solution all the solution

staying strong, what a fucking joke.


with a bit of luck
         and
material fatigue

this could be my LAST.

ABORT, ABORT!!

right....